


illegally married

by eatingchildren101



Series: things that sounded like they were originally incorrect quotes but they actually came into my head at 4 in the morning [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Crack, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Little Shit, No Angst, also death and injuries are treated as a joke cause the sides aren’t real and therefore can’t die, cursing, heads up i suck @ tagging, imagine how much they piss off janus-, no beta we die like men, no one is unsympathetic, physically harming someone, remus takes out virgil’s eyes with a spork and virgil impales him with a tree branch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatingchildren101/pseuds/eatingchildren101
Summary: virgil and remus remember that they’re both still technically illegally married
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: things that sounded like they were originally incorrect quotes but they actually came into my head at 4 in the morning [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202903
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	illegally married

**Author's Note:**

> don’t ask

virgil and remus were hanging out together in the imagination-

you know what screw that, remus actually gouged out virgil’s eyes with a spork and carried him to their little place in the mindpalace until he let go and virgil regained his vision and started throwing rocks at remus. 

ah good times. 

they were just being weird and nostalgic until their conversation went off the rails. 

“-which is why russian roulette is for pussies and the finger tip game should be the one to replace it!”

“yeah because people are going to play spin the bottle except whoever it lands on cuts off one of their finger tips and so do you and you trade them and sew them in your fingers willingly.”

they were going back and forth over this game they had made called the singer tip game and the conversation was going absolutely no where. 

“okay but imagine having to cut of your ring finger while your ring is still on it!” remus put emphasis on the “cutting off your finger” part. 

“your marriage was never meant to be.”

“hey remember that one time we got married!?!”

that statement caused virgil to freeze and stare into space.

“no-!”

remus burst out laughing randomly. 

“VIRGEY LETS REPEAT OUR VOWS!!!”

“WE NEVER HAD VOWS WE WERE 7!”

they went back and forth creating a screaming match, remus shouting with enthusiasm and virgil wanted to be stabbed with a fucking stick.

“WAIT- would this mean we’re  illegally married -“

remus’s smile grew wider.

“oh my god-“ virgil said while smacking his head on his hands

“congratulations we’ve officially broken the law more that 25 times and have pissed off the pigs we call the police.”

virgil seemed to smirk a bit at the pissing off the pigs part. (i gagged while writing police)

“wonderful!  ** now let’s get to 35 illegal actions! ” **

virgil rolled his eyes at that.

“whatever, if we’re illegally married than now we’re illegally divorced, i’m never doing that again.”

virgil stood up to leave and turned around to look at remus, who was imitating thirst traps on tik tok while staring into his eyes. (talking about biting your lip, putting your hand up to your chin like a gun and squinting your eyes)

“i wouldn’t mind repeating a crime to be with you~~~”

virgil stared and remus for 5 long seconds, then broke a branch off a tree and impaled remus with it like he wishes he had done to himself. then he walked away leaved remus criss cross applesauce in the floor with a tree branch sticking out of him. 

“he’ll fall for me eventually~” said remus while placing his hand on his heart dramatically.

**Author's Note:**

> i rlly wanna explain the finger tip game so your gonna sit and listen or it’s not currently 1:39 am (or don’t of you don’t wanna)
> 
> basically, the finger tip game is a game where 20 people or more get really drunk and stand in a circle around a table and spin a bottle around like you would do in spin the bottle. whoever the top side of the bottle land on comes up to the person who spun the bottle and cuts off one of their finger tips, the other does the same. then you sew on their finger tip to the place where your fingertip originally was and everyone does this nine more times until everyone has different fingertips and you pray to your lord and savior that your fingertips are in good hand. obviously this is a joke i’ve realized you can’t just sew random fingers to yourself please don’t listen to me drink water people###


End file.
